The Mysterious Life

Here comes the most awaited D-day for Yogesh. We all know how happy he was on that day. Sometimes he couldn’t even speak in happiness. For early in the morning, everybody at Yogi’s home had started preparation of the ceremony. I and Sumit were with him from beginning till end.

Main events for the day in chronological order are: Pooja (tel Utarna), Nikasi, Ghud Chadi, and Barat, followed by reception, varmala, phere and vidayee.

First of all pooja was taken place at his home only. Let me first tell you about the ritual that is followed by. This ritual is called “Tel Utarna”. Brother-in-Law of groom puts on new cloths on him in front elders and family members. Yogi was in brief and towel. All his female friends were excited to see him half naked. But anyhow he had managed to save his towel and put on pants over that and shirting and suiting after that.

Nikasi was scheduled at 2 pm but started 2 hours late. Yogesh was on Mare first time in his life. I can see his fear as she was not standing quite. Now it was time to get rid of evil eye, so everybody was doing pooja one by one. On the other side band was ready and I was waiting to get started. As soon as nikasi started people jumped in front of Ghodi and started dancing.  The singer of band was some local guy, but he was singing just appropriate as required in that situation. Some popular marriage band songs were played twice and thrice so that people can dance more and enjoy. Nikasi was stopped at different places, to get blessings from Gods and goddess. One more thing, girls from Bangalore were just disappeared during this event.

Nikasi ended at one temple and from where groom can’t go back to his house single. He has to take bride after marriage with him next day after Vidayee. So we headed towards yogi’s brother-in-law’s place nearby. I could not explain how great our welcome at his house was.  We started preparing groom for marriage. He wore a royal sherwani and was really looking great. Ladies die for this day to see a man in this costume.  We have to reach to the place from where BARAT was supposed to get started by 8 PM.

A different mare was ready and was decorated very well. He stepped down from the car and in next 5 minutes yogesh was on the mare. Baratis were ready for dance and masti. This was typical norht Indian style barat. This barat has a groom: P, ghodi, band, baratis, and light lamps.

Barat has to reach to marriage hall after 2 hours and place was not so far. It means we have to keep barat engage with dance for longer duration. Some barat dance numbers started playing and yogi’s relatives were throwing money over him (this is also a tantrum to get rid of evil eye or a way to show happiness). His brother’s friend, his friends from KOTA (his native place, famous for river Chambal in Rajasthan) and relatives took initiave. After 2-3 dance numbers we were pulled in to dance. I tell you till now Bangalore girls were missing. My friend (Sumit) was taking care of them . It was going well. i bribed bandwala to play some good dance numbers to that i can dance well and make it a memorable to myself as well every person around. soon i and Sumit started feeling thrist so he wwnt to buy some cold drinks. I tell you guys this was milestone to Yogi’s barat. As soon as i saw cold drinks bottle , i rushed to bandwala and bribed him again to play ”jhoom barabar” song. In the meanwhile , One of his friend started  dancing. Although nobody was drunk (including me) in that dance. I should not say but i acted like a perfect drunkerd and danced like a pro. By now , most awaited bangalore girls were there to cheer. They were not fully involving in dance , because of a fear to ruin their makeup. I tell you one more dance sequence was done by me , on which even girls were throwing money over me (i.e. Nag – saanp). I guess at that time some snake’s soul entered into me. I literally turned into a “icchadhari nag”.  All were enjoying this part of marriage very well. Bangalore girls also showed some good steps to raise testosterone’s level of baratis . One thing i want to appreciate about Bangalore girls , they knew how to get ready for this event, may be this was reason they not present in Nikasi. Barat was about to reach to marriage hall and bride’s side people were eagerly waiting to welcome us. This was the peak time for Dholwala’s to play , cracakers’ sound made it more enthusiastic. We danced for 30minutes in front of marriage and let bride’s side wait and welcomed by them.

Reception was well arranged and all guests from bride side already present there. We had snacks along with guests. Yogi was taken to stage and he waited for bride for half and hour. As soon as bride reached the stage , all guests reached to hall to see the beautiful couple on the stage. Now its the time for VARMALA. Here we had start doing Mischievous things. We raised yogi so that bride find it difficult to put on garland. We keep lifted him for approx 15 mins and finally bride side has to lift the bride too. Then came the boring part of photosession or this might be the only event which is  remembered by everyone after 20 years of marriage through albums. It was real torture for the couple sitting in front of so many people for so long with same facial expression. Groom always suffers from the turban and bride suffers from jewellary and heavy dress. So this sequence continued for next hour till 11pm. In the meanwhile people had dinner. On the otherside of stage children and some enthusiastic people were dancing and having fun. We waited for yogi’s signal for dinner and had dinner after reception with him and bhabhi. About a dozen waiters were there to serve different cuisines.

On the other hand some people and priests are busy to prepare holy fire for seven steps. Phere is ritual which is only significant part of a marriage. Groom has to take seven vows and bride has to take 4 vows. I dont remember all the vows but they basically are meant to keep bride and groom tied up in a emotional bond throughout the life. These vows are meant to be loyal with each other in their life, to help each other in difficult time. One each vow taken by yogi, bangalor girls were shouted and throwed rose petals on the couple. Soon after vows four steps were taken place, as three were supposed to be taken in January, 2010. Elders have already declared “Achar Samhita”, which means they have to live seperately for one more month .

Vidayee is always a very emotional moment. From bride side everybody has water in their eyes. Bride was weaping very badly. I didnt liked this part. Anyway it was a nice. I enjoyed this marriage at my best and tried to let other also. I wish yogi and bhabhi a very happy marriage life ahead.

2 states…is a story of his marriage . The author tries to grab reader’s attention by arousing s***** hormones through s** related talks.  Except this ,  i get to know few things from this book about Punjabi people and their culture.  I like the way , he narrated marriage in India. His family is quite right about the south girls, they are brilliant and few of them are beautiful. I also had a such experience.

South Indian people are kind by heart. They have less cleverness than other culture. The author is  successful to show contrast in north and south culture . This novel is better than his previous one but not at par with his first one(i.e. Five point someone).

I guess the better title for this novel would have been “KanyaKumari In dilli” or “Idli with Chole” or “Chicken in Banana Leaf” .

Disclaimer:  This is just my viewpoint after reading the book. This is not related to anything living or already dead.

One of my friend lost his bachelorhood on 12th Dec.  I had already taken a day leave from office on 11th Dec. I didn’t want to miss a single event. I was excited about marriage ceremony because it’s a great fun for me. It has lots of dance, delicious cuisines and off course cute girls in ethnic costumes. So my journey began from TCS Gurgaon office.

Day 0 ==== >I started around 6:30 from office as i know the delhi traffic get worse in the evening. I had to catch a train at 10:15 PM from Hazrat Nizamuddin railway station, Delhi. I took a rickshaw from office to NH-8. I waited at unauthorized bus stop or tempo stand for 20 minutes. In this duration, I missed two overloaded buses. At last I got Delhi transport new low floor bus.

After getting into bus I felt that India is progressing in terms of infrastructure. The bus was equipped with digital watch, temperature display, air conditioner, proper space to stand, less number seats. But as soon as I spent 20 seconds inside, this gloomy picture of India shining got blurred. The Air Conditioner was not working; display was showing 29 Degree on chilly evening of December. Digital was working according to India bureaucracy system. People were getting over each other. One more interesting thing happened; one passenger took a ticket and returned to conductor because he was selling used tickets. Anyway the conductor has already given old tickets to many.

The bus was heading towards Dhaula Kuan. There were 3-4 red lights on the way and one toll bridge. Each stop took almost 10 minutes to cross. It took around 90 minutes to reach to Dhaula Kuan. After getting down from bus I looked for autorikshaw without wasting a minute. I started bargaining with the auto drivers. They started from 150 bucks and I lowered them down to 90 Rupees. Still, I knew, that I was paying more but the enthusiasm to attend bhaiya’s marriage stopped me to bargain further . So from Dhaula Kuan to Harzrat Nizamuddin Railway Station (HNRS) it took around 45-50 minutes to reach.

At the HNRS, Manu was supposed to meet. The real fun has already been started when I took DTC bus. So in continuation with that fun, I called up Manu. Luckily we both don’t had any idea of HNRS and we both were standing opposite sides of station. I told him – “buddy I am standing near by Indian Overseas Bank’s ATM. He told – ” I am standing near Indian Bank’s ATM.:D. We were screaming on each other with flavor of every possible abuse we knew. We met finally at platform no 1. Now two devils started roaming at HNRS, planning for “bhogi vivah” J. You won’t believe (who cares) girls were giving a killer looks to us. I was ready to die but I had to attend yogi-vivah (Yogi realize this sacrifice). It was dinner time we were very hungry. So we got into a Vaishno Dhaba , where prices were high in comparison to nearby shops. This was the only criteria to choose a good dhabha at that time. We ordered Dal fry, zeera aloo and “kadak” tandoori roti. This is one of the reason I liked India most. There is only on word that can fit for the taste of Food i.e. Awesome. I could have described more about food but i don’t want you to feel hungry in the middle of something very important. After having “Bhojan”, “chai toh banti hai boss”. We went to a nearby teawala. Now one thing I want to mention that we have that eye to recognize the best chaiwala and dhabewala . The tea was nice with aroma of ginger and cardamom. After having tea, Manu asked teawala, “bhaiya, did this tea had ginger”. He took it in sarcastic way (shown on his face), but in the sake of courtesy, he said – “haan”. Now the question comes why did he not realized that ginger was there in the tea, is a different story. There was a satisfaction on our face after having dinner and graceful tea. We started towards station entrance and reached to platform no 3, where 2416 – Intercity express was scheduled as per e-ticket. But the display at station was showing 2416- Indore express and there was one note at the bottom of the ticket, which let us, anxious for a moment. This is where Indian railway is, after 60 year of independence.

Scene of station was DESI. People were sitting on the platform (because there were no chairs). Police was roaming with handcuffed person. Finally the most awaited train arrived with the non-secular sign board in so called secular country. We got into the train and put down our luggage to our respective seats. Two policemen were visiting in the boggy for security reason and whenever they crossed us, looked at us with suspicious eye and asked Manu about his luggage. In the next round they asked us where we are going. Now you can see why there are so many terrorists’ attacks. Few minutes later some eunuch came in the boggy and asked for the money. I have seen one incident during my college days when one of our senior refused to give them money. They let him saw “Jannat” (in their terms). Soon train started and we were still unaware, what is going to happen with us in next few hours. However, I booked ticket almost 2 months ago, but we got side lower and upper. I didn’t understand till Mathura junction. We got into our berths after chatting and talking to Yogesh. Superfast Train was stinking and I don’t want explain rest of the details. We went to sleep around 12 am. At 00:50 am train halted at Mathura junction. But we didn’t realize. We were sleeping very peacefully and there were not more than 10 passengers in our boggy.

Suddenly I realized that something was coming inside from window over me and boggy was shaking. I was in deep sleep and not in the state to recognize what was happening. I thought some tragedy has happened (like earthquake) and people were throwing luggage out of window. This does not stop here. Around 50 people of a clan entered in our boggy and started chatting, roaming around. Gents were shouting on elder boys to arrange everything at proper place. Ladies were taking care of babies and some were telling their husbands to bring their luggage near them. Young girls had no time for all this crap. They trying to carry themselves very carefully as they have already noticed two hot guys inside. I later got to know from one uncle that one of them was about to get married for which they were going to Indore. She was looking nice and beautiful. When I was almost in her thoughts and looking at her, one aunt came to my seat along with that girl and sat on my seat. I could feel young estrogen’s effect around me. It was not my mistake, hormone were on their high at that night.

I was full of anger at the mid of night due to this inhuman treatment. I started talking to Manu, who was on upper berth about the incident, we both sharing experiences of this deadly incident. Aunts and girls were giving us terrible looks. After 10 minutes we still didn’t stop saying anything. One of new married aunt said – “Due to us you guys got disturbed (with a smile on her face)”. I said (cooling down my head) – “no it’s ok, we can understand.” Soon after this, that girl took middle berth heading towards us, from where we (Manu & me) had clear view to her assets. We all were enjoying, but some people always have a tendency to interrupt in between, like her uncle did. He asked us to exchange seats and we did it. After that we slept and woke up at 5am in KOTA.

Day 1(engagement and ladies sangeet) -11Dec, 09

We got down at Kota Junction and searched for auto. After travelling on a straight road from junction to yogi’s place we reached at his house at 5:30am. He was waiting for us outside; I guess he was talking to his better half outside: P. We were welcomed by his family as soon as we got into house. We had tea and relaxed for sometime. As soon as sun rose we went outside to see old streets of KOTA. We had the famous Kachoris , POHA and cut tea at different shops. After that, we returned back to his house to get ready for the engagement. We all reached to marriage hall for the “sagai” (engagement). All the rituals were performed by elders and lots of things were exchanged. I like this part only . In between, we had snacks and tea. This activity was finished after 2 hours. Because bride and groom have to take blessings of all elders and in turn they get lots of blessings and money. I tell you guys before 2-3 months of marriage, one should start gymnasium. We tried many times that bride & groom come to touch our feet, but some people were taking care of them (:X). We were special attraction in the marriage for young girls and older people (who loves to do matrimonial service free of cost).

After all this, it was lunch time. Lunch had specialties of Hadauti region, it contained: Mix Daal, Bhafla bati, masala bati, kadi, lehsun ki chatni, green chatni, churma, and another sweet etc. It was delicious, awesome and one of best lunch of my life. This kind of food is called “kacchi Rasoi”. We were waiting for our two friends (ramu & dev) who were about to reach. They have already missed the great food. As soon as they reached to the venue we had fun and it didn’t take 2 minutes to switch back to college mode. Now the fun was reaching to its new heights. Yogi was the centre of attraction and topic of every discussion. Although, we didn’t have his bachelor’s party due to last time absence of our friends but we enjoyed a lot.

We had 2 hours before Ladies’ dance and music program. So we decided to go and visit Chambal River and the famous Godavari temple nearby. I was visiting KOTA after 8 years and now I could recollect memories. We headed towards Chambal via ghode wala baba’s chauraha, dashehra maidan, mauji baba ki gufa , Chambal garden , career point  and finally sacred Godavari temple. This place provides a unique sense of peace and relaxation. After paying our regards to lord rama-sita and great bajrang bali, we moved towards the Chambal’s bank. We spent almost an hour to that place seeing the sunset over Chambal. Chambal is known as a biggest bank for crocodile in Asia. There was thermal power plant on the opposite shore of the River and near by there was a mosque. People were coming and throwing belongings of their near ones, who are not in this world, in the river. We could easily see fishes. This river has a design like a canal, there is no declination starting from the shore.

After sunset, we moved back to marriage hall to attend ladies sangeet. All ladies were set to present the dances, which they have prepared specially for this marriage. Men were seated in last rows. Bride and groom also presented mixed doubles and singles. I would like to mention that respected sister-in-law have good skills. Yogi, you are lucky. For guys like us, who always like to enjoy till last drop of water remains in our body, a DJ was arranged. We started with bhangra beats, continued with western and ended it with garba beats. I have learned garba during my stay in Gujarat. Me, manu and devang performed it with exact sequence, rest of people didn’t even know what is garba.

(To be continued…….)